Children at varied developmental levels naturally have a different understanding of divorce, the reasons for it, and what the future will bring. Parents will therefore need to tailor discussions according to their children’s maturity.

Parents of young children should maintain routines, provide consistency in rules and expectations, and provide extra affection. Provide young children with repeated reassurances that the divorce is not their fault and that you love them.

Teens will likely want more details about the divorce and how it will affect their lives. Parents of teens should have open, calm conversations; support their teen’s emotional reactions; and continue to maintain high expectations for their behavior.

Keep Messaging Clear & Simple

For all kids, their parents’ message should be clear and simple. It should leave out messy details that could lead children to believe that they need to fix the problem or that they are the cause of the divorce. Parents—ideally together—should explain in a calm tone something like, “We have decided that we can’t live together anymore and do not want to stay married. This was not an easy decision, but it was an adult decision. It has absolutely nothing to do with you; we both totally love you.” Children may have mixed feelings in reaction to the news.

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How to Talk to your Child(ren) about Divorce
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